(P.S. my name is Melissa since I forgot to start with that...)
(P.S.S. I realized AFTER I recorded it that in my head, I defined creationism as the creation of artwork, etc. so it could be very confusing if you didn't know that)
IOC Rubric:
Knowledge and Understanding of Extract or Work- 8
I think I did a good job of explaining the novel and then context of the passage as well. My references to the text were all relevant to my points.
Understanding of the use and effects of literary features- 5
I think that my understanding of the effect of literary features was generally valid and had supporting evidence. I got sidetracked on a couple of my points and forgot where I was going with the point which seriously detracted from how effectively able to convey my argument.
Organization- 4
I felt that my examples and "paragraphs" had a good overall structure. I got a bit lost a few times and had to trace back to the structure but overall I felt that it was fairly organized.
Language- 3
I said "um" and "like" a lot, but when I started to focus on not using filler words I forgot what I was talking about. This eventually led me to give that hope up at least for now. I also talked in a stream of consciousness sort of way which was sometimes difficult to follow.
Planning:
Hey Melissa!
ReplyDeleteI think you started off really strong! You established the context, your argument, and the location of the extract very well. Overall, I think you did a good job with developing your argument. You also did the same thing I did with saying "um" a lot, but I think it is just natural. Good luck on the real one :)))
I think that you'r beginning was really good with the context of the situation and the decontextualization of the author as well. I also think that your claims and arguments were really strong was well. The only thing that was a bit off was the use of the word 'um'. But overall super good.
ReplyDeleteMelissa! I thought you did a great job preparing for your commentary as well as analyzing important parts of the passage. The development of your claims and argument were clear and in depth. I have trouble with using like and um a lot too ugh it sucks! Anyways.. yay for doing your IOC practice!!
ReplyDeleteHey, just doing my bi-weekly commenting. Great post. I think you did really well and graded fairly accurately. If I am not mistaken, Understanding of Language is out of 10, I think you got more than 5 in that category! Other than that, great post!
ReplyDeleteHeyyyy Melissa!
ReplyDeleteGreat job on your IOC practice. I liked how you established the context before you got going and I thought your arguments were generally strong. I think everyone with a pulse says "um" a lot in these things so try not to worry too much. Good luck on the real one girl!
Hey Melissa. I think your context of the novel was really in depth, and even if somebody hadn't read it they would be able to get something from your analysis. I liked how you used a literary technique as well as a theme from the novel, combining them made them all the more strong. I think you could improve on your presentation, nobody is perfect with their "uhs" and "ums" but I could appreciate confidence in your sentences, as they always end up sounding right.
ReplyDeleteMelissa:
ReplyDelete(I promise I did this this morning...I remember thinking the picture of your planning was sort of blurry and I read the two P.S. notes from you at the beginning of your post!)
- Evidence of structure and organization; good thesis. Be sure you keep linking back to those key ideas to prove how they are developed in the passage
- Make sure you are really looking at the passage ONLY- there are places where you are kinda veering into "book club"
- I agree with your feedback to yourself about thinking about author's purpose/effect on reader.
- Your peers provide great feedback to you- be sure to check it out!
A: 6
B: 6
C: 3
D: 3